Monthly Archives: March 2015

I drink because I’m a sensitive and highly strung person.

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IMG_7051Sorrel Juice with OverproofIMG_6842IMG_4106

Posted in Gluttony, Restaurants, Taste, Uncategorized, Vacay | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Unapologetically devoted to overindulgence.

Come by here when you need a break from the heaviness of it all.

This is a salute to debauchery, but not debauchery as you have been taught.  This type of debauchery is patriotic.  It is the pursuit of happiness.  It is two arms embracing the bosom of fun, frivolity, food, fashion, chilling and doing what feels good.

Rather than spending my precious few in reflection of ways I can reduce my carbon footprint, I am more likely in pensive contemplation of why my neighborhood market no longer stocks Ten Cane.  What the hell? I never saw a single dusty bottle on the shelf.  But I don’t limit my musings to the whereabouts of beloved spirits.

I also ponder other mindful topics.  How many extra hours will I be forced to work to afford my vacay to the Maldives? Are the lace overlay shoes truly a necessity or a want or do I really care? If I were to corner that new recruiter guy in his office and proposition him in the most inappropriate way ever, would he report me for sexual harassment?  Why does Nutella taste so good?

The problem with my interests and way of thinking is that society, media, the man (however he manifests himself to you) tries to control the very essence of us all.  Eat this, not that.  The purpose driven life.  Think like a woman; act like a man.

It’s not that I don’t care about anything.  Several things, causes, people not only grab my attention but shape and enrich my life.  (Full disclosure: I boycott everything; some have lasted well over a decade.) I just choose not to wrap myself in a purpose driven pashmina and feign saintly qualities to fool the masses into thinking I’m more serious, smarter, or more altruistic than they are.

When it comes down to it, most of us (not just girls) just wanna have fun.  We want to indulge in wine, not for health benefits but to savor and then get wasted. We want to eat foods dipped in butter.  We want to do it, and do it well, with whomever we damn well please.  We all want the laser cut Giuseppe Zanotti boots.  All meaning me.

daphne debauchee is not here to enlighten or to answer all the questions.  daphne debauchee is here to provide shelter for all those who choose to submit to their desires.   Do you want to buy a fur?  Do you want to lie in bed all Saturday and do absolutely nothing and not be judged? Do that.  All I ask is that you, as forementioned, do it well (and on really high thread count sheets).

 

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Last Minute Vacation Planning Tips for Procrastinators and Everyone Else

Him:         Hey Babes.Keisha's roadside spot

Me:           Yeah Babes?

(Yeah, we call each other Babes with an ‘s.’)

Him:         I think we should get outta town for New Year, maybe something tropical.

Me:           Babes, do you know it’s December 18?

Him:         Yeah.

Me:           Do you know people usually book New Year’s eve vacays a year ahead?

Him:         You can do it.

Planet-tails!Him was right. I can and I did. I’m an odd combination of fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants and anal-retentive-nosey AF-planner-extraordinaire. So although I found this task to be daunting, I was up for the challenge.

As I spent every waking moment between December 18 and the day we booked our accommodations searching and planning, I couldn’t help but learn a few things:

1) Bring sand to the beach. Or nah. I prefer to know the person I’m going to kiss at midnight. I don’t want to share my hope and plans for the new year with a random. I enjoy the excited usies and bottomless champagne on the flights. I love basking in the shared afterglow on the flight home. But hell, if you like strange, you know I won’t judge you.

2) Don’t get stuck on a certain location. If you only have two weeks tops to make a New Year vacation come true, you can’t afford to be rigid. Expand your horizons. Watch Anthony Bourdain. To be perfectly clear, read on for #3.

3) Think outside the Caribbean. Like I said, don’t get stuck on a location. Americans often act as if the world just drops off after the Caribbean islands. It doesn’t. I know the islands are close and that you won’t have to use as much vacation time from work to travel there. When I began my hunt for vacancies, I started in the Caribbean for that very reason. I got lucky and found a lovely ocean front condo in Jamaica. However, it was the ONLY accommodation I could find that was up to my standards on the entire island. Repeat. The ONLY. I just got lucky. Don’t rely on luck though. I was open to Colombia, Argentina, and I’m always open to Thailand, but like I said… I. Just. Got. Lucky.

4) No room at ANY of the inns? Go rogue. An alternative to the resort is the vacation rental market. Websites like homeaway.com allow you to rent beach houses, condos or whatever you require all over the world. The site has photos, reviews, maps and more – everything you need for due diligence. My accommodations were in theory part of a resort with its own private beach. In reality, it was just an upscale condo that we rented from the owner. I used the site for the first time for this trip and it was a lifesaver.Michelle!

5) When you snooze, you sometimes lose. So you are successful with lodging, but what about the rest? Anybody who’s ever waited until the last minute to try to make NYE party or dinner reservations, even in your own town, knows it can be close to not happening never. Try booking a local chef. I employed the services of a true gem of a lady, Michelle. She cooked a couple of meals per day while I gallivanted on the beach. I’d come home to authentic Jamaican food and a clean condo. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

6) Lounge. Thank me later. Holiday travel is too unbelievably exhausting and the entire airline industry hates you. Seek comforts wherever you can even if you have to just throw money at it. If you aren’t already a member of some airline’s lounge club thing, entry is usually extended with the purchase of a business or first class ticket. You can also buy one-day passes. Do whatever you can. Did I mention the “free” drinks?

Since you’re reading this, I know you’re in a hurry and have no time to waste. Let me know if any of this helped. Also, do you have any tips? I’m sure this last minute trip won’t be my last.

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