Hubris Heavyweight: Tidal and Jay Z

ITidal have absolutely no problem with anyone acquiring more money. As a matter of fact, I applaud it. This IS America, Jack. What I DO have a problem with is the disingenuous way the new streaming platform, Tidal, was promoted.

The splashy video was cute and I expect nothing less from elite performers. These people don’t sell out arenas for nothing. But to act as if it was some sort of social media demonstration akin to Mike Brown’s or Trayvon Martin’s  is disgusting and utterly ridiculous. “Show you are a part of the movement by turning your profile pic blue.” “Together, we can turn the tide and make music history.” GTFOHWTBS.

What movement? Is wanting to get paid more.a movement? Well hell, I can get behind that. Just call it what it is. Don’t play the role of charity case to a country of working poor and paycheck-to-paycheckers.  Make history? Where’s the historical value in this? The day a group of celebrities were on each other’s dicks so hard that they thought they could trick a world full of people, whose incomes are a fraction of theirs, to feel sorry enough for them to buy a $20/month music service?

Tidal’s spokesperson, Jay Z (why?), has even upped the ante when questioned about the backlash. His arrogant comparison to Apple and Steve jobs is not only silly; it is insulting to my intelligence. It is true that Apple holds press conferences to unveil new products. It is true that the Cult of Apple oooohs, aaaahs and then scrambles to buy the next shiny, new thing.  And no, we never questioned Steve Job’s income.

However, Jay Z left a few things out. We ooooh and aaaah because Apple innovates. We admire that yet again those crafty programmers have developed a product that enriches our lives in a new way. (I want an Apple watch sooooooo baaaaaad. Anyhoo.) What’s innovative about a Spotify that’s owned by music artists? Why should I or anyone care?

Apple keeps it real. They reveal the Apple watch, tell you what it does and what the price is. Apple doesn’t give me a sob story about how I should buy the new iPhone because the members of the board just aren’t making enough money. Apple doesn’t tell us anything about the plight of the company’s ownership. Why? Because they know that we don’t care.

The sad thing is that all of this could have been avoided if Jay Z had used his own Apple example. By simply introducing Tidal, its benefits (if there are any) and the price, we would have been forced to either buy or balk. No biggie.

So thank you, Tidal and Jay Z. You are daphne debauchee’s first Hubris Heavyweights. The hubris gods are smiling on you, but they sent me to tell you to fire your PR firm with the quickness.

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Botox is for feminists

If your face is cracking and there is a way to stop it from cracking, why would you continue to let it crack?  That is the millennial equivalent of the if-a-tree-falls-in-the-forest question.  With plastic surgery being as ubiquitous as fashion people using the word ‘everything,’ I am surprised by my waffling opinion.  Some days I’m down with it.  Bring on the Botox!  Fire up the Fraxel Laser!  Other days I am flying the flag of feminism while angrily deriding all who seek to marginalize women with their limited, fantasy-based pablum.

Bring on the Botox!  Fire up the Fraxel Laser!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In 2011, women underwent 8.4 million cosmetic procedures.  We spent 10 billion smoothing out wrinkles, pumping up breasts and sucking out fat.  See, everybody’s doing it.  However, as a feminist who was raised by a feminist who was raised by a feminist who didn’t even know she was a feminist, I understand that the pressure on women to be beautiful and remain young at all costs is a tool of misogyny.  However, knowing this gives me no comfort.  I don’t want my nurtured need to fight the power to have me looking like the Crypt Keeper.

Men are never pressured to believe that their worth is for a large part determined by their beauty.  In 2011, only 9% of cosmetic surgery patients were men.  If a man is not beautiful, hey that’s ok.  Just make enough money or be really good in bed or be able to fix stuff.  Some woman will want you, dawg.  If he can make a lot of money, the world is his oyster and nothing else matters.

Sure, she may have conquered global media, educated the kids and made a billion while doing it. But have you seen her without makeup?

Although less than model beautiful woman can and do rise in stature and esteem through their business accomplishments, the public will still try to compartmentalize and diminish.  Remember all the Oprah bullshit?  Sure, she may have conquered global media, educated the kids and made a billion while doing it. But have you seen her without makeup?  She needs to lose weight.  Oh and Stedman doesn’t want to marry her.

And still I waffle.

And still I waffle.  I see the beginnings of fine lines on my forehead.  Is it so wrong that I want to Botox the shit out of ‘em before they become deep furrows?  I have a pleasant face.  I don’t wanna a perma-scowl.  I can say now that I would never get a facelift with my skin currently tight and its right place.  Would I say the same thing if my chin and neck were sitting on my chest?

The thing is that our youth and beauty obsessed culture isn’t changing any time soon.  I can protest against the misogyny for a month of Sundays, but will that change the fact that the visible signs of aging are the death knell?  As a woman ages, she is paid less attention.  You begin to not count, to be less important than, less valuable than.  Who would knowingly sign on for that just to prove a point no matter how valid?

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You know what I like.

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This that ish ‘d’ don’t like

 

Although I usually try to keep it very positive, there are certain things I don’t like.  So that we can get to know each other and as a tribute to Chief Keef’s  (actually Kanye’s remix) I Don’t Like, here is a list of ten things daphne debauchee don’t (doesn’t – I just can’t) like.

  1. People who use the term “red bottoms”
  2. Excuses
  3. Men/women who don’t like me
  4. Thongs
  5. Fake designer bags, fake flowers
  6. Kitten heels
  7. Cheap booze
  8. Brunches with bottoms
  9. Canvas monogram Coach bags
  10. Patriarchy/misogyny that creates systems that crush women and their sexuality with their rules…woooooo-saaaaaah
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C’mon, youth and beauty, man. That’s the ticket.

I love First Wives Club. I love Goldie. Whenever I think about making my appointment for Botox and Fraxel, I think about this.  And please don’t get me wrong.  I support these injections.  I’m all about the Cellulaze.

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