• Gluttony,  Lust,  Sight,  Uncategorized

    Kaftans, always

    My lovely and talented friend, Sandria, recently alerted me to Veronique Hyland’s NY Mag article, “How to Get Your Body Caftan-Ready for Summer.” Although I disagree with the author about a few points, mainly that wearing a kaftan means you can skip your bra and neglect basic hygiene. WTF. I do agree with her enthusiasm for kaftans and her desire to extol their virtues. Here are a few of my own tips for wearing kaftans and some amazing ones that you can buy right now. Kaftans are the true definition of GLAAAAM-OOOUUUURRR. They are not shlub wear.  They are not for the tired. Find a muumuu for that foolishness. If your breasts…

  • Avarice,  Lust,  Uncategorized

    Last Minute Luxe: Valentine’s Day Gift Flip

    Valentine’s Day is approaching and if you are in a relationship, I have a feeling that all you’ve been thinking about is you. What will he give me? Where will he take me? Me, me, me.   In the words of TLC, what about your friends? Valentine’s Day can evoke some pretty negative emotions if you’re single and looking. Hell. Have you considered that this “holiday” basically celebrates the fact that your girl is partner-less. Have you considered how she feels? What is she gonna get? Where is she being taken? Of course, some of your single girlfriends are happy and oblivious. But there’s a subset of your girls who are trying…

  • Lust,  Sight,  Sound

    A Successful Relationship in Four Easy Steps

    Relationship advice springs eternal. Almost anyone (well, actually any man) has a platform from which to pontificate. Most of this advice is aimed at teaching women how to behave in order to garner the attention of a worthy mate (surprise, surprise). This strategy of dropping unwelcome counsel into women’s laps like an unwanted dick pic has launched careers and built multi-media fortunes. As I surveyed the landscape, I realized that I’ve got shit to say and I want some money too. So, I am jumping into the fray and offering my own gems. I’m dropping this science on you because I couldn’t possibly be any less qualified than let’s say…a…

  • decoupage, crafts, craft, crafting, letters, debauched decoupage, funny crafting, lust, sexy crafting, collage, dream boards, alternative dream boards, twerk, twerkin, twerking, twerk, sumn,
    Lust

    debauched decoupage | twerk

    I am in the process of redecorating.  Frankly, I am OBSESSED with decorating my home.  As you might imagine, my decorating philosophy is a play on scorched earth.  Translation: try to cover every square inch in quirk, kitsch and a little sophistication.  It should truly say daphne to all who cross my moat. So one day while enjoying a kiki (surprise, surprise), I was discussing the empty space above my dueling coat closets with a fellow kiki-er.  What should go in those matching blank and rectangular spaces? Wall décor emblazoned with the words “live,” “laugh,” or “love?”  GTFOH.  No, what would be more daphne? We poured ourselves yet another when…

  • Lust

    daphne debauchee gets schooled, part one

    On a Friday after a very long week working on a very stressful and a not-so-very  rewarding project, I attended a fellatio class. A girlfriend invited me.  It was hosted by a friend of hers, sort of a Tupperware/Pampered Chef party of pleasure.  Sure I had my thoughts, questions and reservations. “Hell, I could TEACH this class.” As Kanye/Beyonce said, “I gotta big ego…” daphne debauchee has a stadium sized one. “This is kinda like a lame ass episode of Real Sex.”  But, don’t you miss that series? I learned sooo much.  If you’re listening, HBO, bring it back.  Please. Or, more like a rekindling of Sex and the City’s Was…