In the words of TLC, what about your friends? Valentine’s Day can evoke some pretty negative emotions if you’re single and looking. Hell. Have you considered that this “holiday” basically celebrates the fact that your girl is partner-less. Have you considered how she feels? What is she gonna get? Where is she being taken?
Of course, some of your single girlfriends are happy and oblivious. But there’s a subset of your girls who are trying desperately hard to appear excited about your bouquet/dinner/engagement ring while simultaneously wishing you would choke on a bug. Don’t be angry with her. Empathize, forgive and take action.
How can you kill some of the hate and make more of the love? You do it by making Valentine’s Day less about getting and more about giving. I suggest that couples (so your significant other has to chip in) should be required to purchase gifts for their single friends. Here are few ideas:
For the friend who may not have a regular man but likes to spread love in more ways than one
What about some crystal drawers? (Alas, my thighs won’t let me be great in this.)
Crystal lux bralette and crystal garter. Lace by Tanaya
For the friend who hasn’t had a man since Methuselah was buying drinks at the after-hours spot
Ashley Madison account. Please don’t forget to email me and let me know how that goes. Now if you get hacked, we’ve never met, but life is all about taking chances. By the way, in case you couldn’t tell, I kid2.
Or maybe this? Ihora Massager – Kushi. Who needs a love life when you have this? Instead maybe gift a scotch tasting class. There’s guaranteed to be at least one decent guy in the class. If not, scotch.
For the friend who just won’t let go and that knucklehead is mysteriously always broke (and absent) this time of year
A copy of Date Girl: 143 Reasons Why I Believe Women Should Date Multiple Men by Stacii Jae Johnson. Give it up, girl. Move around.
For the friend who is too busy grinding to meet a valentine
Grub Hub the love. Have dinner delivered. Send her a text reminding her to eat it on one of the good plates.
Then there’s the friend who just doesn’t give a flying flip (she’s my favorite friend)
And finally, always remember that when all else fails, gifted plane tickets are always acceptable and Valentine’s Day isn’t even a real holiday anyway.