• Avarice,  Uncategorized

    Best Wishes, Ciara & Russ! I’m Still Smiling

    I rarely give a shit what celebrities do outside of their work product. I couldn’t care less about their personal lives, their new babies or their award shows. You will never hear me say, “_____ got robbed at the Oscars!” Frankly, IDGAF and I think that’s pretty fair because celebrities don’t care about me either. None of them sent me condolence bouquets or began a Instagram hashtag when my whole team got stiffed on our bonuses a one year. BUT, When I first laid eyes on Ciara and Russell’s engagement video via a Facebook friend, I was actually a little shocked at my reaction. A toothy smile, usually reserved for  beach vacations and the receipt of…

  • Avarice,  Lust,  Uncategorized

    Last Minute Luxe: Valentine’s Day Gift Flip

    Valentine’s Day is approaching and if you are in a relationship, I have a feeling that all you’ve been thinking about is you. What will he give me? Where will he take me? Me, me, me.   In the words of TLC, what about your friends? Valentine’s Day can evoke some pretty negative emotions if you’re single and looking. Hell. Have you considered that this “holiday” basically celebrates the fact that your girl is partner-less. Have you considered how she feels? What is she gonna get? Where is she being taken? Of course, some of your single girlfriends are happy and oblivious. But there’s a subset of your girls who are trying…

  • Sloth

    Holiday Sanity in Five

    The holidays haven’t always been happy for me. It’s the stress, man! My wallet and I are pulled in so many directions. Thanksgiving groceries. Décor. Cleaning service. Number one daughter’s birthday (and you know children are never inexpensive no matter how old). Christmas gifts. Tree. Ornaments. And lest I forget, I have to purchase plane tickets for myself, my daughter…and my dog. See what I mean? Stress, man! I know you can’t combat it by saying “f@#$ this” and sit on your ass sipping Bailey’s until January 4, but there are definite ways you can significantly reduce stress and its SOB cousins—headache, anxiety attacks and back pain. I tried all…

  • Lust,  Sight,  Sound

    A Successful Relationship in Four Easy Steps

    Relationship advice springs eternal. Almost anyone (well, actually any man) has a platform from which to pontificate. Most of this advice is aimed at teaching women how to behave in order to garner the attention of a worthy mate (surprise, surprise). This strategy of dropping unwelcome counsel into women’s laps like an unwanted dick pic has launched careers and built multi-media fortunes. As I surveyed the landscape, I realized that I’ve got shit to say and I want some money too. So, I am jumping into the fray and offering my own gems. I’m dropping this science on you because I couldn’t possibly be any less qualified than let’s say…a…

  • Sloth,  Uncategorized,  Vacay

    Last Minute Vacation Planning Tips for Procrastinators and Everyone Else

    Him:         Hey Babes. Me:           Yeah Babes? (Yeah, we call each other Babes with an ‘s.’) Him:         I think we should get outta town for New Year, maybe something tropical. Me:           Babes, do you know it’s December 18? Him:         Yeah. Me:           Do you know people usually book New Year’s eve vacays a year ahead? Him:         You can do it. Him was right. I can and I did. I’m an odd combination of fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants and anal-retentive-nosey AF-planner-extraordinaire. So although I found this task to be daunting, I was up for the challenge. As I spent every waking moment between December 18 and the day we booked our accommodations searching and planning,…