Tag Archives: sloth

Holiday Sanity in Five

Holiday Sanity in Five

Holiday Sanity in Five

The holidays haven’t always been happy for me. It’s the stress, man! My wallet and I are pulled in so many directions. Thanksgiving groceries. Décor. Cleaning service. Number one daughter’s birthday (and you know children are never inexpensive no matter how old). Christmas gifts. Tree. Ornaments. And lest I forget, I have to purchase plane tickets for myself, my daughter…and my dog. See what I mean? Stress, man!

I know you can’t combat it by saying “f@#$ this” and sit on your ass sipping Bailey’s until January 4, but there are definite ways you can significantly reduce stress and its SOB cousins—headache, anxiety attacks and back pain. I tried all of them and they really work. It all begins with an attitude adjustment.

  1. Focus on the reason for the season. No, seriously. Hear me out. Thanksgiving is a holiday developed for us to give thanks for our blessings. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ. That’s it. Nothing more. Nowhere in those two descriptions is the crafting of the perfect tablescape or getting your kid’s teacher a gift that puts all other parents’ gifts to shame. Have you ever really shed a tear (thug or otherwise) because you didn’t get a scarf from your Aunt Sylvia? I doubt it and if the recipients/guests/whomever don’t give a damn just like you didn’t, why should you as the giver? Tell somebody you love ‘em. Go to church and bring someone with you. Volunteer your time. Change your focus and get your merry back.
  2. Between November 1 and January 3, plan some out-of-the-home activities that are purely for your enjoyment. It can’t be a service project, a “required” holiday party or involve people under 21. This Thanksgiving Eve, I went to City Winery for a performance by Musiq Soulchild. It was only a couple of hours away from the kitchen but it felt like I was miles away. I’m not a super fan but I love live music and I felt the weight lifting off my shoulders as he sang some of his old hits and transported me to back in the day. Whether it is a concert, ice-skating at the park or a night at the movies, do something selfishly fun outside.
  3. If you work a corporate gig, under no circumstances should you use your vacation time for the holidays. Work straight through and schedule off time after the holidays when all of the relatives are gone. While everyone else is back at the grind on Monday, you’ll be walking through your house buck naked and fancy free. But how do I get everything cooked/bought/done? Go back and read number one. Anything that can’t be cooked or picked up the week before, after work or before a reasonable bedtime, doesn’t need to be. I stuck by this rule this Thanksgiving, despite my propensity to always do way too much. My blood pressure thanks me.
  4. Take care of yourself. Get a massage or mani/pedi. Gift yourself some lash extensions. You don’t have a lot of cash? Take a bath with pretty, smell goods at least twice a month then. Give yourself a facial while listening to the music you like. Actually read your fashion magazines that are collecting dust. Self-care is how you ensure that you are around to take care of others. Find a way.
  5. Say no. I know it’s popular nowadays to say yes. I love Shonda Rhimes and I get it, but I would adjust her Year of Yes to Ten Months of Yes. “Say yes” January through October and then “shout no” for November throughout December. No, I can’t make it to your party. No, I’m not buying everyone with a pulse a gift. No, I’m not cooking a turkey, a ham, a duck and lamb chops. No, no, no. Say yes to self-care. Say yes to your sanity. Say yes to your savings account.

Implement these tips and watch your holiday cheer return. That usual harried pace will be transformed into a very zen stroll. Last, but never least, champagne!

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Beauty Tips for the Action-Challenged aka Lazy

Some girls come home after a raucous happy hour and still manage to remove their contact lenses and make up. Some of them set aside time every night, no matter what, to pumice their feet, Bed makeup2apply moisturizer and cover their tootsies with cotton socks.  Some of them even polish their nails to match their ensemble, which they already laid out, for the next day.

I am not her. She is not me. I’ve come to terms with it and use these tricks to preserve my pretty despite my lazy.

  1. Makeup remover wipes e’rywhere. Near the front door, in the trinket box next to the sofa,  at the desk, under pillows… Some disagree and I get it. A lot of days, when I’m able to go home directly after work and remain sober all night, I do the whole skin care regimen thing. I cleanse, exfoliate, tone, apply serum and moisturize. I do the damned thing. But sometimes I just want to remove the bra and fall into bed. Something has to be better than nothing and I’m OK with that.
  2. Get over it and get your entire body waxed. Or lasered. Why contort yourself weekly (or daily for the truly Sasquatch) and waste ten minutes of chill time for hairlessness?
  3. Gel manis, of course. Yeah, they destroy your nails. And?
  4. Amopé Pedi Perfect. You can condense half an hour of foot Amope2filing and pumicing to 10 minutes or less. The motorized file allows you to have silky smooth heels with little to no elbow grease.
  5. Store any nighttime hair needs beneath your sleep pillow. I’m talking bonnets, scarves, scrunchies, maybe even a brush or comb. Please note: I suggested a brush OR a comb. Having both beneath your pillow is pushing it. And definitely don’t put product under there. Your bed’s not an Aveda Salon. There should be some limits to your laziness.

Let me know some of your lazy girl beauty hacks. Believe me. They’ll be greatly appreciated.

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Last Minute Vacation Planning Tips for Procrastinators and Everyone Else

Him:         Hey Babes.Keisha's roadside spot

Me:           Yeah Babes?

(Yeah, we call each other Babes with an ‘s.’)

Him:         I think we should get outta town for New Year, maybe something tropical.

Me:           Babes, do you know it’s December 18?

Him:         Yeah.

Me:           Do you know people usually book New Year’s eve vacays a year ahead?

Him:         You can do it.

Planet-tails!Him was right. I can and I did. I’m an odd combination of fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants and anal-retentive-nosey AF-planner-extraordinaire. So although I found this task to be daunting, I was up for the challenge.

As I spent every waking moment between December 18 and the day we booked our accommodations searching and planning, I couldn’t help but learn a few things:

1) Bring sand to the beach. Or nah. I prefer to know the person I’m going to kiss at midnight. I don’t want to share my hope and plans for the new year with a random. I enjoy the excited usies and bottomless champagne on the flights. I love basking in the shared afterglow on the flight home. But hell, if you like strange, you know I won’t judge you.

2) Don’t get stuck on a certain location. If you only have two weeks tops to make a New Year vacation come true, you can’t afford to be rigid. Expand your horizons. Watch Anthony Bourdain. To be perfectly clear, read on for #3.

3) Think outside the Caribbean. Like I said, don’t get stuck on a location. Americans often act as if the world just drops off after the Caribbean islands. It doesn’t. I know the islands are close and that you won’t have to use as much vacation time from work to travel there. When I began my hunt for vacancies, I started in the Caribbean for that very reason. I got lucky and found a lovely ocean front condo in Jamaica. However, it was the ONLY accommodation I could find that was up to my standards on the entire island. Repeat. The ONLY. I just got lucky. Don’t rely on luck though. I was open to Colombia, Argentina, and I’m always open to Thailand, but like I said… I. Just. Got. Lucky.

4) No room at ANY of the inns? Go rogue. An alternative to the resort is the vacation rental market. Websites like homeaway.com allow you to rent beach houses, condos or whatever you require all over the world. The site has photos, reviews, maps and more – everything you need for due diligence. My accommodations were in theory part of a resort with its own private beach. In reality, it was just an upscale condo that we rented from the owner. I used the site for the first time for this trip and it was a lifesaver.Michelle!

5) When you snooze, you sometimes lose. So you are successful with lodging, but what about the rest? Anybody who’s ever waited until the last minute to try to make NYE party or dinner reservations, even in your own town, knows it can be close to not happening never. Try booking a local chef. I employed the services of a true gem of a lady, Michelle. She cooked a couple of meals per day while I gallivanted on the beach. I’d come home to authentic Jamaican food and a clean condo. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

6) Lounge. Thank me later. Holiday travel is too unbelievably exhausting and the entire airline industry hates you. Seek comforts wherever you can even if you have to just throw money at it. If you aren’t already a member of some airline’s lounge club thing, entry is usually extended with the purchase of a business or first class ticket. You can also buy one-day passes. Do whatever you can. Did I mention the “free” drinks?

Since you’re reading this, I know you’re in a hurry and have no time to waste. Let me know if any of this helped. Also, do you have any tips? I’m sure this last minute trip won’t be my last.

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Five deep breaths. In through the nose…

If you are currently in the midst of a day full of soul-stealing tasks that you have no desire to complete, please take a moment to gaze upon this beautiful photo of a fabulous resort in Phuket.  Imagine yourself rising from the daybed on the right and walking naked into the private pool.  Take five deep breaths.  Smell the saltiness of the sea that surrounds your private suite .  Along with the coconut goodness of  your Nars Body Glow (mixed with sunscreen) that you have luxuriatingly rubbed into your skin after your post-coitus shower.  Take five additional deep breaths.  DO NOT QUIT TODAY.  YOU MUST SAVE UP.  Jetsetter awaits.

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